Aphorism: a short, pointed sentence that expresses a wise or clever
observation or a general
1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts
2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag
3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have
sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid
dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how
a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you
feel younger than everyone
9. Scratch a cat and you will
have a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the
teenage boy who wants
to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins...the
old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting
a call for a wrong number at
4 a.m. -- like, it could be the right
13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where "happy hour" is a nap
15. Be careful about reading the fine print...there's no way you're
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same
17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old men and women running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!
18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Yugo
19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're probably dead
20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind...and the ones that mind don't matter
21. Life isn't tied with a bow...but it's still a gift
22. Politicians and diapers should be changed often...and for the same reason