Thursday, March 31, 2016

Humor For the Day

 Really Weird Things Said to Church Ministry Leaders...

Church leaders were asked via Twitter to share some of the more unusual comments they have received. Here are some surprising  things people tell pastors and other church leaders.

1. “We need a small group for cat lovers.”

2. “You need to change your voice.”

3. “Our expensive coffee is attracting too many hipsters.

4. “Preachers who don’t wear suits and ties aren’t saved. It’s in the Bible.”

5. “Your socks are distracting.”

6. “You shouldn’t make people leave the youth group after they graduate.”

7. “I don’t like the color of the towels in the women’s restroom.”

8. “We need to start attracting more normal people at church.”

9. “I developed cancer because you don’t preach from the KJV.”

10. “Your wife never compliments me about my hair or dress.”

11. “Not enough people signed up for the church golf tournament. You have poor leadership skills.” (I’m so sorry. I expected more since most of the deacons play golf on Sunday morning)

12. “I think you are trying to preach caffeineism.” (Probably Reformed theology with an extra kick.)

13. “If Jesus sang from the red hymnals, why can’t we?” (I think you are mistaken. He sang from blue hymnals.)

15. “I don’t like the brand of donuts in the foyer.”

16. “You didn’t wrap the hot dogs in bacon for the church picnic.”

17. “You shouldn’t drink water when you preach.”

18. “The toilet paper is on the wrong way in the ladies restroom. It’s rolled under.”

19. “Why don’t you ever preach on Tim Tebow?”

20. “You don’t have ashtrays in the fellowship hall.”

21. “Did you see me waving in the back of the worship center? You preached too long. It was time to eat!”

22. “The eggs were not scrambled enough at the senior adult breakfast.”

23. “You don’t look at our side of the worship center enough when you preach.”

24. “We are leaving the church because you have a red cross on the building. That’s the color of the devil.”

25. “Your sermon needed more calories.”

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